Monday, February 9, 2009

The Sentence for Dead Isles

I just finished doing one of the lessons for Holly's Think Sideways Course, seriously it just keeps getting better and better with each week! Anyway I wanted to try it with 'The Dead Isles' to see if it makes my idea stronger.

The original sentence was;
Jarlath's daughter, Anabel, becomes sick with a life threatening illness. The Blackwhite Esor must find the cure, delving into the dead Isles, whilst small Sen'am groups, led by Tine Rhyner, plot the downfall of Lydie and Jarlath to take back power.
I then changed the sentence to;
Elicia Foister battles her way through the dead Isles to find the Esor Rose, trapped there until the next Tsirc and unable to provide aid against the uprising Sen'am.
I personally think the second sentence is far better. It shows far more of what is going to happen, gives it a twist and makes me far more excited for the next book than the first sentence. Even though it is more brief, I still love it a lot more.

On another note, I also finished My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult, and it was brilliant. She is such a wonderful author and had me in tears at the end. The book is just so full of wild emotion. I just really loved it. That means on to Harshini by Jennifer Fallon for me!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tighter, I find, is always better. ;) I too was planning to use the sentence technique to see if I can't tighten up Dirge.

Blackfire said...

Yes I very much agree. In the other sentence it almost seemed that Jarlath and Lydie were the main characters of the story, when really it is Elicia who is the protagonist.

I did find it very hard to come up with a sentence for this though. But that could be because it is the sequel book, rather than the first? *shrugs* Good luck with tightening up Dirge! I might even use it for Pirates of Hcallaec.